Can I Talk My Shift?
The Can I Talk My Shift podcast is the number one place for intrapersonal accountability, emotional wellness, sobriety, and a whole lot of other SHIFTS. It is hosted by Sam Walker INSPO, a self-published authorprenuer, and Lashawn Gee, a Hall of Fame track athlete turned Discipline and Mindset coach. The two experienced losses at crucial points in their lives, Sam with the tragic death of his mom when he was 15, and Lashawn with her father passing away at 19 years old. With no proper grief etiquette to pull from, they now realize how much parental loss, and much more, played a major role in their "emotional mismanagement.”
Their talk-show coaching style aims to demystify, educate, reintroduce, and face the harsh truths surrounding emotional intelligence, sobriety, wellness, and much more by explaining how to integrate shifts into everyday life.
Healing and reading are necessary for every individual, no matter their status, successes, or industry/business they're involved in. The couple's goal is to aid in the healing of our community and get one million people back to the basics of reading one book per month. The SHIFT has begun… start listening now.
Can I Talk My Shift?
Hateful Self-Talk Has You Looping Through Life
This episode focuses on the vital role of self-talk in accountability, leading listeners through understanding and transforming their inner dialogue. The discussion addresses the origins of negative self-talk, the function of the ego, and provides actionable strategies for improved self-accountability.
• Exploring accountability as this month's theme
• Understanding the significance of self-talk
• Diving into the roots of negative self-criticism
• Examining the influence of childhood experiences
• Discussing how ego plays a role in accountability
• Outlining practical strategies like cognitive restructuring
• Highlighting journaling and mindfulness as tools for change
• Encouraging listeners to analyze their inner dialogue
Improve your self-talk, give yourself grace, and consider starting the challenge today!
You know, normally we would have like this long, intricate intro, but I don't want to do that.
Speaker 2:We're doing it a little different in 2025.
Speaker 1:We're jumping right into it, because all year we have broken it down, we have it all written out and organized and we're going to see if we can stay with it. This year, along with the podcast, is our themes for the month, broken down by week, and this month is accountability and it is no different than what we've been doing.
Speaker 2:We just letting you in on, you know, our little back end. We are doing it, um, in a way that works for us and that is concise and palatable for you all to enjoy.
Speaker 1:Accountability. Yo the thing that people need to get Lasix for corrective lenses, for contact lenses, for. Because can't nobody seem to see when they aren't accountable. So we here to correct your vision a little bit.
Speaker 2:Bring it back to well. Some people say 2020 is not perfect vision, you being the former ophthalmologist, let us know what is the vision that our audience needs to be seeing this podcast in.
Speaker 1:The vision is clear, my sister. The vision is clear. Clearly, we need more accountability in the world. Man, do we Yo nah, but real talk. We want to talk about accountability this month because we know that, coming off the new year, everybody has these goals, these aspirations. The new year, new me. All of that BS and all that jazz, whichever one, you are in between, I'm not knocking you. You are in between and I'm not knocking you. All I'm saying is that accountability is going to be the fuel and the key to unlocking the new you that you want to bring and manifest into the world well, first of all, what's up, love?
Speaker 1:yo, I'm good, you see what I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm pardoning, yeah, but you know hey yeah, what up.
Speaker 1:You know I'm good man. Hey, I learned a lot closing out the year.
Speaker 1:I learned to watch a couple of different people who have very successful podcasts from Diary of a CEO, steve to Pat Flynn to David Shands and a couple other people and just gaining some insight to close out the year, to maximize this podcast for us, and they were saying yo, just jump right into it, don't even do the whole long intros and long outros get right into your stuff, you know I'm saying, and then sprinkle links and things throughout the show along the way you read the title, you know what this is about yeah, so we shifting it just a little bit yeah, so accountability is going to be the topic of the month, but each week we'll break it down and into subcategories and sections, and today it's going to be us talking about being and remaining accountable for our self-talk what you think about yourself, our self-talk.
Speaker 2:What you think about yourself.
Speaker 1:Our self-talk, our inner critic, our inner voice. You know asking yourself these questions like is my inner critic, you know, helping me or hurting me? If so, why? For either one? What is the inner critic, what is the self-talk telling you? And I got a question to start it out for you, babe what's up? Why would we allow our inner critic or our self-talk to tell us that we can't do something?
Speaker 2:well, you know, I'm always to take it back to childhood. I'm always going to take it back to things that have been ingrained in us through family, friends in childhood. I really believe that it's 100 percent because of what we've heard, what we've ingested over time and those things tend to grow with us. So for me, straight up, it comes from childhood. Everything I think, if you ask me about anything, it's going to be oh, it comes from childhood. There's always a little bit of childhood. You know trauma, childhood experiences that manifest over our lifetimes, that it shows up in little ways and I think the way we think about ourselves starts from what we were told as kids.
Speaker 1:Hmm, okay, I can, I can rock with that. I I'm trying to understand myself a little more and I'll be saying like yo, why are you, why do you have such a hard time believing that you can do something or get something accomplished? Where does that come from? So I think about, like myself, talk that I have a lot, and I really have like a lot of negative self-talk and I do think that it stems from childhood. I do think that it stems from those earlier bouts and not being able to navigate them in the best way.
Speaker 1:Right, because you know, as children you can't really talk about it. You know you don't really got the words, the, the verbiage, whatever language. You don't have the cognitive shit to really be like, to decipher what's going on. Oh, I can, I can move this over here and that over there or that connected to that. Because of this, you know cause and effect, all of those things. You don't have them as kids, but when you get them as adults, why aren't we able to go back and reconfigure what happened, to then move forward now and say, oh, now I'm more than equipped to do what I need to do or what I want to do in life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know that's a good question. Love it really is a good question. That doesn't get the introspection it needs. I think ego big time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's just my personal belief. Um, we all have it. We all have a little bit of ego. Some of us have a lot of bit of ego and, for me, if we don't get a grasp of our ego early on, just like if we don't get a grasp of our emotional intelligence right, we're able to understand what that really means and we're able to navigate it well throughout the different phases of our life and stages of our life, it can get the best of us. That's what I feel.
Speaker 2:So if we are not in check, in tune with and can can manage our ego, then it's going to get the best of us, you know, to a detriment in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to self-talk, because ego is not just somebody being arrogant, you know. It's not just somebody thinking that they're better than Sometimes. Ego is dang, I messed up, and we can't get that story out of our head, why we messed up. We come up with all the scenarios and we're telling ourselves all the stories about why we messed up. It can be ego, can be as much as it can be arrogance. It can be very self self deprecating too, and that's not good for anybody.
Speaker 1:I like to think that the ego is like the old-timey referee of the game.
Speaker 2:Wait what.
Speaker 1:So like, let's take basketball.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:Our ego is like the old-school ref, the old ref who's been refereeing for a long time.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And then now you got, like these newer players that are coming in, so newer ideas yeah they're used to seeing the old way of stuff and how the sport was when it started, and now you got these newer players faster, stronger, taller, more equipped, more athletic, more skill yeah more skills in a bag, that they're able to maneuver around within the fundamentals and the rules more than the old school players. And so now this old school ref is like you can't do that but the new bag of skills is like actually I can, because I can maneuver through it.
Speaker 1:This way, I, instead of doing just a simple cross to the to the goal, I'm hitting you with a a fast, slow euro step and it looks like a travel, but really it's not I see what you're saying.
Speaker 2:See, because his eyes aren't used to right what that looks like facts. I see what you're saying.
Speaker 1:I got it so I akin the ego to that and then the ego is like with the newer refs right who are trying to learn from it and the ego is like I know, like this is how we were brought up and this is what this is how it's supposed to be and this is what it will always be, yeah, and. But they really deep down can see that they are out there like like everything about them is outdated, right, and they don't want to be forgotten. So they go extra hard with making sure that the rigidness set is is still set within the game, right, but the newer skills are like yo come on, like you got to get with the times.
Speaker 1:My God Like it ain't that we hate you like that. It's like yo give and take yes.
Speaker 2:And you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean, and so I think I think if we can really get with ourselves and have that conversation with ourselves, you know I mean, sit down and see why we keep continuing a narrative that doesn't serve us, no matter like, no matter what you did, right, like, but why we continue to be so negative towards ourselves yeah you know what I'm saying yeah um, because I I believe that high level thinkers, high impact the, the self-taught that they've been giving themselves.
Speaker 1:You know I'm saying right. Then you got those that are slower, slow to move, more like they're paralyzed because the self-talk won't even allow them to pick up a finger or a foot, to take one step forward on something like we forget. As kids, we were eager to learn and we knew that we didn't know we wanted to ask all the questions, all the questions.
Speaker 2:Depending on who your parent guardian was.
Speaker 1:You were either free to do that yeah or right a little more closed off right, and so now, as adults, it's almost like we think, or our ego thinks, that we're supposed to know things, even though we're coming in fresh, brand new to a new skill set to a new work environment, to a new relationship, and it's like oh, I've been here before, I've done this and I've done that when, honestly, you haven't right, not to the level that you think you know.
Speaker 1:And so this is where we can take accountability and start realizing like, oh shit, I don't really know what I thought I knew.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying yeah, be it. Whatever it is. You know we can I mean we can specify however we want. But accountability as a whole is being able to look at yourself outside of yourself and then still tell yourself hey, we got some growing to do Right? You know what I'm saying. I got tired of negative self-talk like why am I not in this place, why is this not working fast enough, or why is it not working faster?
Speaker 1:you know, and it's like well, who said that is supposed to be that. Yeah, wow, who, who, like, who literally said to you yo Sam, this thing is supposed to be here by now because of X, y and Z.
Speaker 2:They they? Who is they they? You know?
Speaker 1:what I mean. They said it, you know. They say, oh, you know, they said it, you know they, you know. They say oh, you know. I mean, like it's your first time being a mom, you're supposed to really have this stuff down by month five. You should have a routine set to where you are able to free yourself up enough to do something as a mama and you really tell yourself that and you really believe it. And then when you really get the reality of it, it's like oh no, I'm lying to me.
Speaker 2:Right. You forget that your child is not someone else's child. You forget that.
Speaker 1:Not a robot.
Speaker 2:Right, you forget that you can have.
Speaker 1:Our baby is free. You hear me so free. We trying to put her in a box of time, we trying to fit her in the confines of like okay, now that you ate, let's go ahead and get a little tummy time in, so that way you can get tired, go to sleep, and then, by this time, you should be knocked out and you actually should be asleep for about two hours, which will allow us to do this, this, this and this, and then she's like you know what, though? I just want to chill with y'all today, right, I don't even want to go to sleep, right, I just want to chill with you, dad, fun fact, mom, I want to chill with you, like we thought she's gonna be asleep for this, for this pot.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile, you might hear a little breathing.
Speaker 2:That's our, our third co-host right you know she's with us and I'm grateful that she's with us. You know, I find joy in being able to create while she is with us, because she sees that she obviously doesn't know exactly what we're doing or what what this is in front of our face and but she's in the energy of it. So, being able to have her with us and she's a great baby. You know, you've heard her louder or softer at times, or even asleep at times, but trying to have her be responsible for her wake and sleep times, like it's not happening. It's not happening and we we even we can't be responsible for it. We just have to go with the flow, and this flow today says that she got enough sleep for the amount of time she did, and now she's awake and we're still going to do what we committed to do.
Speaker 1:And, you know, I actually kind of like the fact that our audience can see the growth, because there's going to come a time when she actually has some words to say, right, and so she'll be able to say them and they'll be like yo. I remember when they started in january 2025, and like she wasn't, she was just breathing, and now look at her, she's like actually talking a little bit. So it's like stages of different development that they get to see yeah alongside with us too yeah you know I'm saying so.
Speaker 1:I think that's cool I do too um, self-talk, though, when, if you, if you still here with us, which I believe you are your self-talk ask yourself, why is my self-talk what it is, be it positive or negative? Because what you can do is you can, you can cultivate it to be even more positive. You already have, uh, if that's your foundation, right.
Speaker 1:If your foundation is not positive, then we got to figure out why it's not positive right which comes through introspection and awareness and awareness, and so because a lot of the times you can realize a person's self-talk by how they respond to other people, via criticism or, um you know, just like aggravation, tension. You can see how a person navigates their own thoughts by how they respond to other people. Right, you know, you know, if you quit to get upset, it's because you, you know you silence yourself so fast, because you don't really know how to talk to yourself yet. Right, so you're not trying to hear another person either.
Speaker 1:If you can't hear yourself, why would you want to hear somebody else Exactly?
Speaker 2:It's so crazy. I was going through my stories on ig okay and it was just scroll out. You know they just you know they funneled, they cycle through, and I don't know whose page it was, but I literally saw that quote like something to the effect of that quote where the person like they typed it.
Speaker 2:I think it was a, I think it was a woman. She typed it. It was like you know, you'll know how, how a person is by the way that they speak to others, but you'll know them even more by the way that they respond yeah to others and how they respond to themselves.
Speaker 2:And I don't know if we both follow this person and I saw it. I don't know, but I know that I saw that earlier today and I was like, wow, that is so true when you cannot, when you do not, have the awareness that, oh man, I'm being very critical of myself. Maybe that's why I'm being so critical of this person that you know I'm in dialogue with. It's definitely a lesson in self-awareness and being responsible for what that looks like being responsible for how you treat yourself and how you treat and, as a result, how you treat others.
Speaker 1:Um for sure yeah, for sure, because I know my critic, my inner critic crazy rigid you know, astute, all of them, things like a, like a motherfucking college professor, and so I was so rigid and really wouldn't give people grace in times where probably grace was needed, always feeling like, always taking things personal, yep, and not really dissecting and taking situations as isolated incidents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just making things a string Right and a thread of time when really like things should have been broken down. Like think about us in the beginning, a lot of the times that we butt heads Because I was just like yo, nah, nah, man, like you got me tripping, you must think I'm stupid, or something. Like you know, I'm saying and I look at that and I and I ask myself throughout the years, like yo, what is that? Why do you not want to understand more? Why do you not want to have compassion? And it came from a hurt place and it's like well, bro, you ain't five, you're growing man.
Speaker 1:Like you can protect yourself, it's okay yeah, you hear something that that you may or may not be ready for, but you're well equipped to hear whatever you gotta hear, to then make a decision yeah I think it's like for me I didn't really want to have to, I didn't want the information, because then it was like I have to make a decision if I keep myself in the dark on some shit, or if we just stay mad. It's like we ain't gotta really move nowhere. We don't gotta grow right you know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying Right.
Speaker 1:And having that negative self-talk, that inner critic, that's just so like ball and chain. You know I forget what the dudes call in the circus when he get to whip the animals. You know it's like it's one way. Oh the ringmaster, yeah the ringmaster, it's like yo yo, that ain't life. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:and people come from all walks of life and have experienced all different phases and stages and they may know more than you, bro they may not know more than you dog, but regardless of if they do or don't, you should be able to have the compassion to sit down and assess what's going on, especially if you claim that you love this person right and really, you know, it's about honoring and respecting the differences.
Speaker 2:Like you said, it doesn't have to be somebody's better than somebody's higher than somebody superior, inferior, it's just respecting the differences. And what? What are you going to say, oh, you know, I jive with this, this is something I can work with. Or respecting your boundaries and saying, know, I don't jive with this, this is not something I would like to involve myself in or have to deal with throughout said period of time? I think that's very important because when we look at the better than less than higher, than superior, good and bad, it tends to focus on the negative belief.
Speaker 2:By looking at the other side, yeah, where we get so focused on, you know, the, the spec that we forget about the whole log yeah and I think that that is, uh, very, very important when it comes to taking responsibility, being accountable for your self-talk, because if you are constantly out here, being judgy and being judgy generally means, like you, thinking about something negative about the other person or people- or yourself or yourself, if we don't take that time to say you know what, let me give myself a little grace, let me give this person a little grace because I don't know what they've been through.
Speaker 2:Or I need to acknowledge what I have experienced and then switch that talk from being negative, negative and challenging those negative thoughts by saying, okay, well, what's the possibility that it could look this way?
Speaker 1:What are the possibilities? Let me count the ways. That's a fact, that is a big fact, yo. I think we definitely have to take inventory of the language that we use towards ourselves From the time you get up. I challenge you because I did it already. I only did it for half a day, but I did it, and every time that a negative thought came about in my head, I it down.
Speaker 1:I wrote it down in my phone in my notes section and I'm telling you, I looked at all the negative thoughts that I spoke about myself throughout the day it's something as simple as like nah, that, like that fit right there, ain't gonna work today like they. You know they gonna think that that ain't fly enough and and it's like firstly, who's they?
Speaker 1:but, secondly, it's like brother, what are you doing? You know, I'm saying like what are you really doing? Yo, you walking crazy right now. My god, like what's going on, bro, like you looking real unattractive. Why am I telling myself that, right, where is that coming from?
Speaker 2:where is it coming from you? Know I'm saying yo, why do you care that much about outside of yourself, right?
Speaker 1:yo, I just called wifey like less than five minutes ago. I don't want to call her again because she probably gonna think I'm the most annoying husband and just all of this. And it's like putting all of that anxiety on a phone call to then just go ahead and call you still and then now I go from inside internal talk to projecting that onto you right and now I'm looking for the tone to switch to then reaffirm what I've been projected onto you and you have no idea what's going on at all, right?
Speaker 2:because I'm just answering the phone and then you like.
Speaker 1:What's your problem? My problem is the fact that I know that you annoyed with me calling again and you like, but that I don't got none of that going on right, right.
Speaker 2:How many times have you said that too, like you feel you probably tired of me calling no.
Speaker 1:No, it's fine and that's what I'm saying so, if you got, if you're dealing with a lot of these things on your own, or if you are just now getting that, that aha moment, that light bulb moment, like yo. I do that too, like hold up man Y'all on to something I'm telling you, take inventory of your self-talk of your inner critic of your inner voice.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because, for one, let, let's, let's switch lanes real quick. Let's flip it to a positive for one. I never knew that there was like a huge percentage of the world that don't have inner monologue. Yeah, they can't hear nothing in their head, they can't hear a voice. How do you not hear a voice in your head? Do you hear your?
Speaker 2:voice me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, I hear multiple voices, so like you're not crazy y'all. No, no, no, not like that like like, if I'm talking to myself, I hear my voice. Yeah, if I'm reading a text message from someone else, it's their voice that I'm hearing talking to me. Yeah, if I'm reading a book, my brain. If I don't know how that person sounds, that author sounds it comes up with the voice automatically on how that person would sound.
Speaker 1:So I've never heard this person talk and I'm assuming this is how they would sound. And if I meet them and they don't sound like that, I'm like yo, you tripping, You're not supposed to sound like how you sound. You see what I'm saying? So that's what I mean by multiple voices.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you um, it'll be a woman reading back to me okay yeah, and actually what I've done too and I ask people to do this as well is, when you're reading anything, right, you gotta challenge how you feel when you're reading it. So what I did, what I started doing, is recognizing that I'm reading whatever help, self-help, self-improvement, whatever dialogue, right, whatever literature I'm reading. My fault, I'm reading this from a low place right now. Let me see what it would feel like if I was reading it from a different state.
Speaker 1:Let me see what it would feel like if I was reading it from a different state yeah, and it'd be a different voice, and it'd be more upbeat, more upbeat, okay, but it's a lighter voice, right, and the words are now. I'm more, I'm more, so like bouncing through the pages.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Versus like dragging through the pages. Ah, but this is just me though. Yeah, you know the pages. But this is just me though. Yeah, you know, there may be other people who might experience that and know it. Some may not, some may need to try it, right, you know?
Speaker 2:but yeah, that's what I mean by multiple voices I think that is a definitely one way to practice your being accountable for yourself. Talk at that, because that is some mindfulness for you yeah that is just, you know, taking note, taking inventory of what's going on in your head. Yeah, how are you perceiving it? What is the new way you can perceive it?
Speaker 1:like yo, you're extra bubbly, right I love that about you. I've always admired that. One of the main reasons why I was attracted to you in the beginning was just how bubbly your personality is Like you're so bouncy, which probably equated to you being so good in high jump right, because you know your personality is bouncy so you got to bounce.
Speaker 2:Long jump, love.
Speaker 1:Long jump, triple jump I meant not high jump, I meant triple jump and long jump Bouncy. Yes, yes, long jump, long jump, triple jump. I mean not high jump, I meant triple jump. And yeah, bouncy, yes, right, yes, so um, the way that you could bounce through conversation was very cool, very attractive, because I was always, I always conditioned myself to be smooth.
Speaker 1:It was like glass, you know like. So everything had to just come off very like, you know, chill and and just even keeled. But then it made things feel mundane, like I couldn't put no, no personality into it, no caveat and nothing, no charisma and nothing yeah you know I'm saying just like I don't want to be a smooth operator 24-7, yo, yeah. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got to be upbeat about something. You got to be excited about something.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying is my inner voice became that. So, everything had to be smooth, everything had to be just you know too cool and calm you know, what I mean. And it's like, bro, that shit is boring. Yeah, it's boring boring.
Speaker 2:There's a time and a place.
Speaker 1:Yes, there's a time and a place for it, and these are the things that I've. I've learned about myself, so that way I'm able to address things in a different way you know when you're dealing with, when you're managing multiple personalities, maybe within yourself, but also like within work, managing people's emotions, managing their creative abilities and just putting them in the right position so that way they can maximize their creative abilities. Yeah, you learn so much so fast, right, and that's one of the things.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm saying when I, when I got into management and managing, you know, uh, having crisis management versus like creative management versus emotional management, you know I'm saying versus like just day-to-day management of just time block yo different, it requires different frequencies yes and different levels of input yes you know and you don't have to give things uh, the same amount of time or energy or motion or effort when I've, can I condition myself to do that?
Speaker 1:in the beginning, you know I'm saying right you get burnt the fuck out real quick, right, but when your self-talk is a lot better, a lot more polished, and you understand where you're coming from, yo, you, it's almost like you don't run out of energy, right, because you learn how to how to harness it. You learn how to take what's given to you and then like either like you know, it's almost like a superpower spin the block and turn it into something else and use it when you're a little down, or you feeling a little confused, you know, and then you mix that with with truth, like telling the truth, man, you'd be like an energetic butterfly, social butterfly, all the time.
Speaker 1:You know, what I'm saying. So I know that's probably a lot for people, but that's the way that my mind processes things. That's the way that I've been able to process self-talk. You know, just as a creative individual, the self-talk is important.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It's super important because it allows you to understand what you're giving someone else. You know.
Speaker 2:I think that this is a great thing to note that we've talked about it before, because you know this, these things matter, but you write a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So you being able to reframe those thoughts, those negative thoughts, with reframing them with positive thoughts, reframing them with you know, sometimes it's as simple, as most times it's as simple as just taking the negative thought and writing the literal complete opposite, Even if it's extreme, just to reframe those thoughts in your mind about what it is you're thinking who was that?
Speaker 1:who said that? That black woman, she's so fire. Uh man, I can't think of her name and I feel crazy right now because I she was on a, um, she was on a podcast too and with the Caucasian gentleman and he has like one of those personal development self-improvement podcasts, maybe Lewis Howes maybe I don't know, I don't know the woman smooth face, he don't got no beard blue eyed dude.
Speaker 2:I think that might be Lewis Howes A little bit yeah.
Speaker 1:Shape head.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And my fault y'all. This is how we like Battery shaped. When I'm trying to paint a picture of somebody, I'm not literally joking him, but he had the woman and she did. She does the. Uh, she was doing like the um, the celebrities for a while. The black woman she was like helping celeb, like coaching celebrities through trauma uh, dang the fact I can't remember her name right now, yo, it's crazy. But she was talking about how, when she would go through with her clients and how they had to write, it would be like eight or nine pages of negative stuff and then they would have to read it and they said sometimes it would take like a day or it would take more than a day.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like three days or five days and then after that. Then they have. They put like a couple lines in between each thought.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And they got to write it down.
Speaker 2:The positive one. I know who you're talking about, because, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Let me, let me put this out for the people.
Speaker 1:So you, write down the negative thought, all of them in all areas of your life, you know, from relationships to financial, to love, loving yourself, loving somebody else, you know whatever it is.
Speaker 1:You just writing it all out and it ain't verbatim, but I'm telling you, if I could just remember her name, shit, I'm gonna look up, ok, and so then she go. Then, once you write it all down, then you take the positive opposite and you write it underneath and then for the next like two days I think, you read both. So you read the negative and then you read the positive thought. I was like, oh, like three to five days you do that. Then after like the fifth day or the third day, you cross out the negative thought and then you just read the positive thought, and what that does is it conditions the mind to have the opposite positive for the negative. So then when the negative thought comes up in your mind opposite positive for the negative so then when the negative thought comes up in your mind, you automatically divert to the positive one. It's polar opposite, and then that way it keeps you in a better frequency, in a better mode, and you cultivate a better life you got a name?
Speaker 2:oh my gosh, I don't have, but I know exactly who you're talking about no novonne.
Speaker 1:No man, I feel yo, I do not want to disrespect you.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh and I'm like yo.
Speaker 1:I should know your name off the top of my head and I feel crazy that I don't. I do it's gonna. It'll probably pop up towards the end of the show.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is.
Speaker 1:But that's one way right to develop better self-talk is to go through and see why you got, or see what you even have at your base, your base floor, and going through that exercise.
Speaker 2:Man, if I could remember it, I'm telling you I would drop her name so quick. I see her face in my head and I can't. Uh, we're gonna come up with it, but we're gonna keep going because I think we need to give you know sakara I think we need to give uh some more of some more ways that we can continue to hold ourselves accountable and responsible for our self-talk um so we were talking about reframing yeah so do that through writing, journaling, um whatever that you know, whatever floats your boat intentional intentional writing and journaling, though, like not just writing dog, because that's the thing this is.
Speaker 1:What it's really about is the details. You gotta be intentional and descriptive yes with this stuff because the language has to get very descriptive. If you just being like y'all mad, that's just the, that's just the outer layer of the onion, that that ain't what you really feeling. So if you don't have the language to describe what you're feeling, you definitely going to be confused on what's going on. You're not going to gain understanding.
Speaker 2:Right, baby girl wants to get her little voice in here for a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Um, one thing that I found when I I I saw what we were talking about today is something called cognitive restructuring. So you may have seen this also, and you know, doing research, I like to do a little, at least a little bit of research for each of the topics we talk about. But cognitive restructuring, this is another way that we can take responsibility for our own self-talk, thereby helping us speak to others better. So cognitive restructuring is challenging your negative thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on evidence and then replacing them with more realistic thinking. So, in layman's terms, is this even real? Like, what is this based on? Is this based on something internally or is it based on something externally?
Speaker 1:Does it say that it can is normally based on, like the past experience. That's similar.
Speaker 2:No, this one, this, this piece of information that I found was just it's like making ourselves accountable for our own feelings, like, is this something that I made up? Is this something that someone else said to me? Is the is there evidence for this? Thought Got you and then taking that and then making it more realistic, turning it into something that is actually going on in your life.
Speaker 1:For sure, I love that.
Speaker 2:I think I thought that was pretty dope to to keep in mind as a you know, a tool to use for asking us, for keeping ourselves aligned and aware of our self-talk is, you know, is this even real? Who, who is they, and is this thing that I'm thinking about and believing even real?
Speaker 1:yo, that's crazy because you remember when we were reading the the cabalian right, the seven herm.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And it talks about. It talks about everything. All is mine, the universe is mental, right, yep. And then it talks about how, from this one thing spawns these seven processes or these seven other ideals dealing with the mind. And so when you become polarized on one end, on the negative side there is an equal opposite. You have to know the language to understand it, and then you have to create the thought, the opposite thought, to then polarize on its opposite end, to change it.
Speaker 2:Right, right.
Speaker 1:Right. So if I'm like, oh man, I'm a slob and I keep reaffirming it in my head and I'm a slob, I have to, not only to get away from that frequency, I have to vibrate in such a way. First I got to know what the opposite of a slob is.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And then not only know it but not criticize it. Right, if I'm organized. I don't want to call myself a neat freak. I don't want to call myself OCD. I don't want to. I don't want to now chastise the positive mode that I'm trying to replace the negative with.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I am organized Right, I am well kept.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And then I have to feel the feeling of what it would feel like with me being well kept in all places, not just in the crib. What do I feel like if I was in my car? Well, I was walking down the street Well, I was on the phone? Well, whatever else.
Speaker 1:And then you do that multiple times to now create a new state and it physically does things in your brain, but you know, your mind is not the physical aspect, your brain is right and so that's what I'm saying, there's a spiritual approach to it, and then you have this way that you're saying, you know, I mean, so I think it's kind of cool if you can, just, you know, tackle two, but, uh, the same thing multiple ways, you know? I mean like yeah, I think it's kind of dope. I don't really want to get too deep on it like that with everybody yet right we're just starting out. You know, I'm saying this year.
Speaker 2:So I still, oh my gosh, I I am getting the biggest bout of brain fog with oh, girl with man.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you this one, this is what I remember because I want to.
Speaker 2:I the name that keeps popping up is iyanla, but it is not iyanla, um, and I'm sure you probably sent me the clip of that particular conversation. I believe it's lewis house, like house h-o-w-e-s. It is lewis how he does the um school of greatness, yeah, school of greatness podcast.
Speaker 1:That is the guy. Yeah, like I said, hey, okay yeah yeah, man, six four, that's crazy yeah he looks tall.
Speaker 2:He looks tall alpha. I'm still diligently looking, but as we diligently look, another way that you can hold yourself accountable, because you know we're talking and you know we're having this conversation. But we also want to give you, guys, you know, some actionable steps, because what is the podcast without getting some takeaways? Because what is the podcast without getting some takeaways? Which fun fact love. My word of the year is action.
Speaker 1:Action.
Speaker 2:Action. So I have, in the past, started a whole lot of stuff, but then I've allowed fear or imposter syndrome, fill in the blank thing, stop me from doing things that require big leaps and making things happen, and, for whatever reason, I've stopped myself in some ways not in all ways and not in everything and not in everything but I have decided that 2025 is the year that action becomes top tier, top priority and taking intentional action about, you know, the things that I want to have happen. So, yeah, we are, we're taking action up in here.
Speaker 1:Self-talk right.
Speaker 2:Lisa Nichols. Lisa Nichols oh my gosh, is that who it is, that's who it is. That is who it is. You are absolutely right and she's a dope. She is a very dope speaker, dope motivational speaker. Lisa, nichols and lewis. Howe so refreshing the the conversation of what she taught, what she said to do. So you're writing down all of the negative thoughts that you can think of about yourself. Is that? Is that what you were saying?
Speaker 2:yes so you are you're writing down all of the things that you have thought about yourself that have been negative beliefs, negative beliefs, all the things. And it's gonna be. It might be hard, it might be a very big challenge, because now we're facing it. It's like wait a minute, I don't want to, I don't know, I don't want to read all this stuff. I just minute. I don't want to, I don't, I don't want to read all this stuff. I just wrote. I don't want to talk about, think about these things. I just wrote because it makes you feel bad about yourself. But you have to do it. So, right, once you write down all of the things that you, that you have thought about yourself negatively, you have to then read those things. You have to go through and read each one of those things.
Speaker 1:Oh no, it wasn't Lewis Howes.
Speaker 2:Dang, it wasn't.
Speaker 1:It wasn't Lewis Howes. This is crazy. I'm butchering these guys. I feel wild.
Speaker 2:Tom Bilyeu? I don't know, but I do know it is Lisa Nichols. No, it is her, it is.
Speaker 1:Lisa Nichols, but I want to steer the people To the right podcast. Right, she did talk on Lewis Howell's podcast, but I believe the clip that I saw was on Tom Bilyeu's podcast. Okay, and that's when she was talking about doing this with her clients and her people.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's right, that's right, that's right, sakara, so tell the people again what they have to do in this particular exercise.
Speaker 1:You gotta go watch the clip watch the clip.
Speaker 1:We'll put a link in the podcast notes or they podcast no more, that's not what I do and not what we do. I'ma come more equipped the next time that I'm dropping other podcast names, because I don't want someone to be like, yeah, you know that dope podcast with the, with the um, with the girl who was the all-american and yeah she was, she was doping the high jump. Well, no, it's not the high jump, it's the triple jump. Well, you sure, because her husband said high jump on it on that one episode. Oh, you might be right, we don't want none of that we don't want that, okay, and that ball guy.
Speaker 1:Yo like he's cool, he got the cool voice and all that to talk my shift shit podcast, that that thing. Yeah, that one go over there check that episode out.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't want them to do that you know we're gonna leave the link yeah to that particular clip and we're gonna put in a podcast notes so that you can check it out for yourself. That is another tool that you can put in your back pocket so that you can continue to hold yourself accountable for your own positive self-talk.
Speaker 1:For sure, and Sakara agrees.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Sakara agrees yo. So, yeah, this week. That's what we working on. If you listening and this episode provided you value, shoot us a DM on Can I Talk my Shift on Instagram at Can I Talk my Shift or CanITalkMyShiftcom. Yep, right, you can leave us a note, you can text us, you can leave us fan mail and you can allow us to understand where you're coming from with your self-talk, so that way we can either work through it together, start building our community, or just so if you have some other tips on how you work through it yourself. Because that's what it's about. It's about leaving people with paper trails of great information. It doesn't always have to come from us. We can just be the launching pad for great, sound information to help people transform their thinking about themselves and about the world.
Speaker 2:We like to start the conversation. So be a part of the shift unity community, yeah, by checking out all of those avenues that Samuel said. Follow Samuel at Sam Walker and Spoh.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Follow Sean. That would be me at the LG underscore.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You can also follow me at Sean Lurie underscore. And yeah, love, oh, make sure you rate this. Share this podcast with a friend and tell them to share it with a friend, cause somebody will in your life. Absolutely, I'm almost positive. I'm not a you know licensed professional, but I'm almost positive that somebody in your circle needs a little bit of accountability for their self-talk. So share this with a friend and rate this podcast five stars. That is how people continue to find. Can I talk my shift on the airwaves and in the podcast world. We thank you so, so much for joining us today that's a fact.
Speaker 1:Yo man, we appreciate you so much. Improve yourself, talk, give yourself grace. If you haven't start the challenge today by improving it, having grace for yourself, and then seeing how you show up in the world by how you show up for yourself in your own mind, don't listen and don't give in to the negative, inner critic. Challenge it. Understand it. That way it can be your friend and you can cultivate a better relationship with yourself and that way it'll bleed out into the world and then, when you become better, you make the world better that's right how we gonna do it.
Speaker 1:We're gonna leave it on that till the next episode. Y'all we'll holler.
